Let me be honest: I have had serious issues with self-care/self-love in the past, and I don’t always have it all together to do my routines to take care of myself. So this is less of a “how-to” and more of a “you are not alone.”

Ever since I can remember, I have been called “high maintenance,” whether it was needing to get my hair done, which for a multi-racial first-gen American was not the norm, to needing different types of clothes to fit my body that had curves at a very young age. For me, my forms of self-care and love for myself always seemed to be a daunting task for my caregivers and those around me.

Being the only child of mixed race in an entire town was far from easy. I stood out everywhere I went, was constantly grabbed at or had my hair or skin touched without permission, and was overprotected by my family. Being the child of an immigrant comes with its own set of problems, but the one that stuck out the most for me was fear.

I am breaking generational curses and becoming one with my own body.

Fear that if I took too long in the shower, I would waste everyone’s time and not move fast enough to be considerate of others. Everyone and everything came before actually connecting with my body. With the older generations in my home, there was never any talk of self-care, let alone self-love.

Now, in this phase of my life, I have learned that you get to do self-care just for being yourself. So I want to share some of the limiting statements programmed into me and the positive affirmations I’ve used to replace them.

1. Bubble baths are time-consuming, and there is no time to relax because things need to get done.

I deserve to rest my body after all the hard work that I have done, and I can allow my mind to rest and reset for the things that will still be there tomorrow.

2. Wearing too much makeup or revealing clothing sets you up for things that you don’t want to happen. You are showing off your body and bringing too much attention to yourself.

I am allowed to make myself feel my best self the way that I see fit. No one has the right to tell me what I should look or dress like. I am safe everywhere I go.

3. Getting a massage or a facial is too much money. I don’t have time or resources for that kind of thing.

I can look at my budgets differently and invest in things that will help me ground myself instead of running myself into the ground.

4. No one else in my family puts time and care into themselves like this, so why would I?!

I am breaking generational curses and becoming one with my own body. Choosing self-care and self-love allows me to form new pathways of being. I use self-care routines to connect to my authentic self and ancestral royalty. Loving my hair, skin, mind, and body is my birthright.

Remember, sometimes the biggest form of self-love is taking the time to do the inner work. So take some time to implement these phrases into your life, because you are deserving of everything you desire! 

---