No matter what stage of life you are currently in, it’s never too late to cultivate deep, nourishing friendships. In fact, you deserve it. Leadership coach Antoinette Beauchamp has listed the steps you can take to help find those amigas that feed your soul.
I often hear women say, “It’s so hard for me to make female friends as an adult.” And they’re not wrong. (I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t said this to a couple of people myself.)
We say this because we crave deep, meaningful connections that light us up, and each of us deserves this, no matter what stage of life we’re in. The good news is that it’s never too late to find more of this!
In my years as a certified coach to women in all transitions of life, I’ve honed in on a set of lessons that transform how we find—and keep—friendships. Earlier this year, I brought these key learnings to a workshop for #WeAllGrow Latina. And, by popular demand, I’m sharing some of these tips for you to cultivate thriving friendships.
How To Find New Friends
My husband and I moved to Florida from NYC in March 2020 and realized we had to start over in a new community. Over the last three years, I had to practice what I’ve been preaching for nearly a decade, and these were the three tactics that supported me the most. (I trust they’ll help you too!)
- Seek out fresh energy
Did you used to enjoy dancing, but you haven’t been dancing in ages? Are you curious about a workout class in your area but just haven’t gone? Trying new things gets you closer to new people and creates fresh energy. Fresh energy alone gives you a new perspective and overall mood about your life. The more joyful you are and the fresher you feel, the more people you’ll attract who match your vibe.
- Ask your existing friends
If you’re a single woman, you probably already know how much joy it brings your friends to try and set you up on dates. (If you’re in a relationship, you probably have done this for your single friends.) It’s the same for friendship! Do you know how many times I’ve met new people through existing friends?! This could be done via a simple text message, “Hi! Do you know anyone in my area? I’m looking to meet some new people.” Don’t be afraid to try it—your friends want you to be happy!
- Stay open-minded
Are you resisting the idea of new friends because you “don’t have the time?” You are not the only one, and I’ve seen so many clients say the same thing. Know what else I’ve seen? The moment these women opened their hearts to the option of new friendship was *exactly* when they met a new woman to whom they felt connected. It’s essential to stay curious and open your mind (and heart)! You never know when the opportunity for a new, thriving friendship will pop up.
How To Nurture Friendships
As exciting as it is to make new friends, the true delight comes from nurturing them. I look at my friendships now (many of which are brand new!), and I know it’s the following things that have helped them thrive.
- Match your friendship style
It’s important to acknowledge which women match your style of friendship. For example, are you a frequent texter or caller? Do you like to keep in touch weekly? Or are you the type of person who can go months without talking to friends, but still love them and will be there for them in times of need? I’ve found there’s often tension between women if they don’t have the same friendship style. If one person likes to keep in touch, but another is more flexible and distracted, it can feel mismatched. Engage with people who match your friendship style!
- Embrace flexibility
As Latina women (I know many of you will nod at this), we have a lot of responsibilities. Not only do Latina women have a lot of obligations, but we also pour our hearts and souls into the things that matter. This means that, naturally, women in your life will have a lot of things on their plate. In turn, it’s important to have grace with your friends. If you notice something is off with a friend, ask how you can help.
Sometimes, we as women need space; if that’s the case, let your friends come to you when they have the energy. Many people confuse nourishment with constant connection, but nourishment could be through space and flexibility.
- Be intentional as a friend
Intentionality is one of the most vital elements of friendship. Being intentional means choosing how you want to show up by aligning your friendships with your values. It also means taking deliberate action toward growing and nurturing your friendships. Be there when you say you will. Check in when you can. Send a gift just because you were thinking of them. Seek out opportunities for your friendship to grow. (New restaurant opened in your neighborhood? Book it! Both feeling the itch to travel? Plan it!) And be present. Yes, take those photos to remember the moment, but be sure to be yourselves after the selfie.
About the Author
Antoinette Beauchamp
Antoinette Beauchamp is a spiritual leadership coach, author, and meditation teacher. As the Founder & CEO of AB Coached, she leads a community of entrepreneurs toward transformation in both their personal and professional lives. Her mission is to lead with passion, help people own their power, and step into their unlimited potential.
